May is Lyme Awareness Month--a month dedicated to educating the public on all facets of Lyme disease and other tick-borne illnesses. We thank all of the patients, advocates, and Lyme organizations for their dedication in helping to spread the word and save lives. Here at LymeBrave Foundation, we're taking an unfiltered look at what it's like living with this chronic illness by opening up our journals and sharing the highs and lows of life with Lyme. Join us for our 2018 awareness campaign by helping to #shareyourstory. Contact us to find out how!
Editor's Note: The following was originally posted on Cassidy's personal blog, dated October 2016. Check out her profile below to learn more of her Lyme disease story.
There are people who tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself because there are people out there who are worse off than I am, and believe me I know that's true. Yet, sometimes, sometimes I'm allowed to feel sorry for myself.
Sometimes I get to feel sorry that I missed out on high school. Sometimes I get to feel sorry that I never got to experience things a normal person my age should have.
I get to feel sorry that I'll never know what my life could have been if I had never gotten sick. I get to feel sorry that while I sit at home wrapped in my heated blanket, my peers are off living the life I should be living.
Sometimes I get to feel sorry that I can't eat what I want. Sometimes I get to feel sorry that I can no longer play the sports I love.
I get to feel sorry that it's going to take me way more than four years to get my college degree. I get to feel sorry that my life is not going how I had planned.
Sometimes I get to feel sorry that I was burdened with an incurable disease. Sometimes I get to feel sorry that I can't show people how much it truly hurts on the inside.
I get to feel sorry that I have slept most of my life away. I get to feel sorry that I'll be poor for the rest of my life because I have to pay off medial bill after medical bill.
Sometimes I get to feel sorry that the world is spinning round me (literally). Sometimes I get to feel sorry for the pain and suffering this disease has caused my loved ones, too.
I get to feel sorry that I'm forced to put on an act just to make it through my day. I get to feel sorry that the medical world has turned its back on me time and time again.
Sometimes I get to feel sorry that simple tasks are too hard for me to accomplish. Sometimes I get to feel sorry that I will never have a “normal” life. Sometimes I get to feel sorry that I cannot control my own body.
I do not always feel sorry for myself. Most days I am trying to help others instead of myself but I have to remind myself that it is okay to be selfish and angry sometimes. I was given the short end of the stick and have to live with this for the rest of my life. It is not always going to be easy, and on these dark days it is okay to grieve and feel sorry for the life I have lost. I will never get back what I have lost and that sucks. So please do not tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. I lost my life. I may still be breathing but my life is no longer mine. I know that the world does not revolve around me and people are worse off than me, but this is how I cope.
- - - Will you show the world you're LymeBrave and join us for our Lyme Awareness Month campaign? Contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org to find out how you can help#shareyourstory!
Cassidy Colbert has been battling chronic Lyme disease for over six years. She now dedicates her time to advocating so no one else feels the burden of this horrible disease. Want to know more about Cassidy? Find her on social media!